


Drifting

by Weesnaw



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Gen, Sad rubies, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-11 11:08:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7889053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weesnaw/pseuds/Weesnaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The rubies are left to themselves and their thoughts out in space.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Leggy

**Author's Note:**

> hello

She was scared. Scared and confused. She didn’t know where she was, didn’t know where the other rubies were. She wanted to see them. Needed to see them, to be around them. She’d known the other four rubies in her squad her whole life. Which, to be honest, wasn’t that long, but without Ruby, Ruby, Ruby and Ruby, Ruby was all alone.  


She had never been alone. It was horrifying. Even more horrifying when she noticed that she was stuck out in the void for who knows how long. From the moment she burst from the ground in a Corundum Kindergarten, she’d had a purpose. She’d been assigned to a squad instantly, and that was that. Their mission was the next day.  


Her first, and only, mission, had landed her here, out in the middle of nowhere. She didn’t know what to do. Without her fellow rubies telling her what to do, without some order to follow, she had no purpose.  


“Oh no.” Her voice cracked and she whimpered to herself. She had never learned how to function on her own. She hugged her knees close to her chest, and looked at the gemstone embedded in her left thigh. She felt a great sadness coming from the gem. A great sadness rippling across her entire being. She hadn’t felt this sad before. It scared her.  


Suddenly her face was wet. Something was coming from her eyes, and she couldn't quite figure out what.  


She was crying. She hadn’t truly cried before, she didn’t know what it meant. The tears just scared her even more. She thought of all the things that might happen to her out in space. An asteroid cracking her gem, two asteroids coming together with her in the middle, shattering her.  


She grabbed at her hair with her hands and sobbed. She would die in space, because no one would come to help her. Not the Rubies, not the cruel Earth Gems who shot her out here, not Homeworld. No one knew where she was. No one would, could save her.  


She cried and cried, as long as someone could cry, and cried after that. She didn’t know what else she could do.


	2. Army

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's another

Her mind was engulfed with RAGE. Those dang Earth Gems! They tricked her and her squad again! Why, she would rip them all to shreds once she got the chance!

Would she ever even get the chance? She glanced around. She was still in space, as she had been for a while. Yeah, she forgot about that. She grunted angrily. This was so frustrating! She had always been able to hit or kick just about whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted. But now, all those faces she wanted to punch were so far away!

She didn’t have any way to get back to them. She didn’t have any way to get to her squad, she couldn’t get to the ship! She didn’t have any way to do anything! That infuriated her more. She wanted to rip something, anything in half. But there was nothing around. Nothing around for miles!

She was growing upset. She’d always had violence as a way of taking care of her emotions. But now, she couldn’t do anything to make herself feel better! Nothing to punch, kick or throw. She felt like crying. Crying tears of rage, of course! She couldn’t be sad! She was always aggressive, always ready to fight. That's what made her a good Ruby, right?

She didn't know anymore. How could she be a good Ruby in her current situation? She was derelict in the void, with no hope of being rescued. Her squad was gone, her ship was on the Moon, and Homeworld had no idea where any of her crew was! She had never felt this sad, this empty before. She'd always been fearless, knowing that nothing bad could happen. Of course, bad things happened all the time, but she'd always forget about them and remain confident in her fighting skills. How could she do that now? She couldn't forget where she was forever. The tears came without warning, and she couldn't stop them. She punched her leg and started sobbing. She hated feeling this way! She wanted to be back with her crew, back on the ship! Anywhere but empty space!

She furrowed her unibrow and let out a scream. No matter how angry, how sad she got, she was still alone, lost. She had never feared for herself before. Not until all she had was herself, and death to look forward to.


	3. Navy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :^)

She couldn’t look away. Outer space was simply lovely! The light from millions of distant stars illuminated the multi-colored dust clouds, and the dark expanse all around pulled it together nicely. She sighed. If only she could stay like this forever. Relaxed, serene, quiet.  


But of course, she suddenly remembered a couple of things. Her whole squad was stuck in space, and they were far from their ship.  


Her mind then caught onto another thought. If no one in her squad was anywhere near the ship, how would they reunite? She supposed they couldn’t. She’d be alone. All alone.  


She curled into a ball and let a few tears fall from her eyes. Great, this was just perfect! She was stranded, alone. She was scared, crying. Nothing out of the ordinary. She was sensitive. She knew it, believed it, but didn’t enjoy it. She loved being happy. She liked thinking things to be beautiful. She didn’t mind having emotions. It made life as a simple Ruby a bit more enjoyable. But why did being emotional have to have such awful, sensitivity related repercussions? She just couldn’t stop crying. Not when she'd floated for hours. Not when she entered an asteroid field. Not when a large one was coming at her. But she did when it hit her in the abdomen, she did when it left her gem cracked and her feeling nauseous.  


She stopped crying, looked down. She couldn’t believe it. She had seen cracked gems before, but it had never happened to her. She didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t think, couldn’t feel. She couldn’t look away. That was, until the crack suddenly grew.  


“Ah!” She clasped her hands around her gem and gently held it, fearing pieces would begin to chip off. She wouldn’t make it much longer. How could she make it much longer? She couldn’t. She had never seen a gem get cracked and then get better alone. She started crying again. She wanted her crew, her ship, she wanted to get help for her cracked gem. All that she was, was damaged.  


"Oh no..." She put her hands on her head and balled. This felt awful. She’d shatter out in space with no one to comfort her. She’d never get to see Homeworld again, never get to see her squad again. She hated every second of feeling bad. And that made her feel worse. She couldn't be positive and will the thoughts away. No, this was very bad, and very real. She was hopeless.  


She buried her face in her hands and waited for the inevitable.


	4. Eyeball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> four

Oh, was her mind burning. Burning with frustration, anger, disappointment.  


She’d been outwitted, again! She kept going over everything she could have, should have done. She should’ve tricked Rose Quartz. Ooh, she could’ve feinted friendliness! Then when Rose Quartz was least expecting it, she could’ve taken her gem, easily.  


Brilliant! Why hadn’t she thought of that? Oh, but she did think of it, though. Far too late. She hissed, of course she didn’t come up with that in time! She was a Ruby, not a fast, clever thinker. It infuriated her. You’d think after seeing, experiencing so much she’d finally get it together. She hit the palms of her hands against her head. She sighed angrily. She couldn't do anything right, couldn't even locate her squad! She lightly touched her gem, jerked her hand away, and crossed her arms. Why had Rose Quartz been so small? Oh, she should’ve been able to take her on, win! Rose Quartz had been only a third of her supposed size, much weaker! How could she fail? Why didn't she see it coming?  


“Ugh!” This wasn't supposed to happen. They were supposed to find Jasper, go home. Rose Quartz wasn't supposed to be alive. She wasn't supposed to be in space! Jasper had to be on Earth, but where? Those "Crystal Gems" didn't say where she was. Did they know, did they do something to her? They must have. Why else would one of them pretend to be Jasper, instead of answering their questions? 

When her platoon was assigned to locate Jasper, she felt an excitement she hadn't felt in a very, very long time. Before they had even arrived on Earth, she had been giddy with joy, anticipation. Now, as she was forced to look out, into the void, she knew that she’d never get to see her. The Quartz she so idolized.  


But what had she been expecting? Would Jasper have even acknowledged her? Would she have just put her off as another Ruby? She groaned. She was just another Ruby. Why did she think that Jasper would see her as otherwise? She wasn't special. Jasper was special. Powerful. Perfect. She rubbed her face, checking for any tears. She closed her eye, hugged her arms to her chest.  


“Quit dreaming, Ruby.”


	5. Doc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> responsibility

Oh, what kind of Ruby was she supposed to be? She was a failure. What would Yellow Diamond think? What would happen when she learned they had failed such an important mission?  


Her squad couldn't send out a report, they were all stranded! All four Gems that she was responsible for, gone. Gone out into the void, with no hope of being found. How would Yellow Diamond even find out?  


Those poor Rubies. She was sure that they wouldn’t last long; they didn’t know what to do in a crisis! Well, neither did she. She didn't have these kinds of skills! Why would she, anyway? Homeworld didn't prepare any of its Gems for surviving in the void, because it was never supposed to happen! Surely, if she ever even got back to Homeworld, she'd be punished. It was hardly her fault! Those Gems on Earth, those "Crystal Gems", they'd done this! Oh, but it didn't matter. Ugh. It wasn't fair. 

She crossed her arms over her gem, narrowed her eyes. What was she supposed to do now? She hadn’t ever had free time before. She’d always been commanding her crew, receiving commands from her superiors, or completing some other duty. She had never thought that her first bout of freedom would be floating through the cosmos, awaiting death, or worse, her Diamond’s wrath. She huffed. What a mess. If only she had been able to see through the lies, the tricks, they'd all be home by now. No one in her squad would be alone. She slipped two fingers under her visor to wipe away a single tear. She wasn't enjoying all this alone time. She stared into the space around her. She wished she could be back aboard the Roaming Eye, piloting her crew and herself back to Homeworld, with Jasper in tow.  


Her crew! She hoped everyone was alright. But was she alright? That, she had no idea. All she could feel was guilt and fear. So, no, she probably wasn’t doing too well.  


She felt that she needed to see Ruby, Ruby, Ruby and Ruby, needed to make sure they were fine. They had to be fine, she needed them to be. She wished that she knew if they’d be rescued. Would Homeworld even worry about a few missing Rubies? They might just send more to Earth. Her crew might just be forgotten. More tears were forming underneath her visor. She sighed, removed her visor. It floated for a second, then disappeared into streaks of light. She rubbed her face and cried. She was supposed to be responsible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading everyone! your feedback is appreciated


End file.
